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" Was the voice I heard and sure enough when I turned around he was sitting in one of the chairs drinking tea.I looked at him but couldn't really describe him and before I could ask he said "Yes that's right I'm God and you're dead. Why don't you take a seat so we can chat a bit." Looking at the room again and back to the empty chair I decided to do as he said and take a seat since I obviously wasn't going anywhere else."I am very sorry for what happened to you just now you weren't supposed to die until you were 97 married and had 17 kids." He said before sipping his tea again. "Wait, what.. seventeen kids?" I asked looking shocked. "How could I have that many kids when I've never.. well, done that?" Yea that's right. I died a 30-year-old virgin, I know it's sad. pitiful even."As it turns out you were supposed to meet your dream woman in about a week, marry her in a month and have your first kid next year." He told me still sipping that tea... I think he was cheating and refilling it. Much later, after we had smoked another couple of joints and finished off most of a bottle of wine, we got the munchies bad. Linda was parading around my small kitchen naked except for a pair of black satin panties, getting together Spam, cheese, chips, dip, canned black olives, a sliced apple, and anything else she found and could lay out on the table. As we munched and I watched Linda’s delightful little titties flop, she asked if I ever wondered about where or when she learned to give blow-jobs.I confessed I had not given it much thought, just assumed that she had natural talent, for which I was extremely grateful! She giggled, and took another drag off the joint we were sharing. Then she proceeded to tell me how she learned to give blow-jobs, and smoke pot.(Here I was forced to delete several paragraphs, due to underage content. Suffice be it to say, Linda was taken advantage of in her pre-teen years by two slightly older cousins, coerced into performing sexual acts, and horribly.
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